A Sick Fairy Tale


Once upon a time, a couple in their late 30s cuddled on their king size bed anticipating the upcoming birth of their son. They also anticipated the arrival of their new pillow top, memory foam mattress that would finally allow the mom-to-be a good night’s rest. In all their wisdom (they weren’t spring chickens, after all) they had chosen to downsize to a queen size bed because, “It’ll keep us from being tempted to let the kid sleep with us because they’ll be no room. Our bed should be ours.”

Fast forward 6 ½ years later. They now have two children and their bed has never been theirs. Never. They now laugh at their lame brained idea to downsize to a queen, as if a kid gives a rat’s ass about there being no room for them in the bed. Hahahahahahahaha

As I write these words, my daughter is coughing up a lung and my son is doing a victory dance because he has a fever and can’t go to school…again. My kids have been alternating illnesses, one kid sick, one kid well, for the last few weeks. I’ve lost count of how many times they’ve swapped bugs but on Monday their germs finally converged and they are now sick at the same time. Which, oddly enough, gives me a bit of a break because they can now entertain each other (when they’re not fighting or coughing).

The good news is, we’ve discovered that our new leather-ish couch is vomit resistant (probably due to its leather-ish composition) and lucky for you, what they have can’t be caught through the internet.

The bad news is, my brain is mush and this is all I can give you.

How to entertain a sick child
Face painting is a great way to entertain a sick child.

26 thoughts on “A Sick Fairy Tale

  1. We have the King, and it seems like we always have one of the kids in it. My daughter just self disciplined herself into staying in her bed, monsters be damned, for
    one month and I’m a little sad. This post was adorable. Hope everyone is back to good health soon.


  2. Ha! I wanted a king size bed when we bought a new one years ago and my husband refused saying the kids would just end up in it. And they liked the queen just fine too! They’re older now so those days are over but I remember oh so well!
    So sorry to hear about the sickness which I hope has since passed since this post has been in my email for a while 🙂


  3. This has been a winter for the record books, It seems like the whole world is going through the same thing. And I can empathize about the queen size bed. We have one as well, and my six year old comes in almost every night at some point. Combine that with the fact that my husband is 6’6, and it’s a crowded house!! Hoping warmer weather brings you guys health!


    1. Thanks Kelly! We are all healthy again. No one ever warned me that kids constantly go through phases of needing to sleep with you. What really sucks is that my daughter has become afraid of the dark and insists on having a light on when she sleeps with us. My husband got me a sleep mask, which pretty much makes him Husband of the Year. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  4. True saltillo tile is crazy-making. That stuff needs to be stripped and sealed every year. Until that happens, try a mix of hydrogen peroxide and baking soda, with a squirt of dish soap for staying power. That should neutralize the odor until you can get the tile guys out to do a professional job.


  5. I wish you could see me nodding my head up and down. Yes. Yes. Yes … I hear you. I get it. I had one person say to me last winter in an accusatory tone, “For a healthy family you guys are sick all of the time.” Talk about kicking a horse when it’s down. I think I just turned away and cried my tired bleary eyes out.

    I hope they’re on the mend as you get this. If not — go hide in your closet with some fabulous chocolate for 10 minutes!

    And by the way — Vinegar! Vinegar works on everything. Or rubbing alcohol! I’ve been known to dump a bucket of either on stinky things and they elemental odor… or mask it with their own (less?) offensive smells. Good luck! I’m sending you strength and courage and if I could, chocolate. 😉


    1. My son is going back to school today – kicking and screaming – but now I’m starting to feel a tickle in my throat. I’m hoping it’s just exhaustion from being up with my daughter all night. I can’t believe I’ve managed to stay healthy this long. Vinegar is awesome! I use it in the dishwasher to keep everything from turning white. And the smell reminds me of Easter eggs. 🙂 Thanks Jessica!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. BAHAHAHAHA! And, just so you know, I’m not laughing AT you, I’m laughing WITH you!
    OMG…so much to love here. Sigh.
    Trading bugs, sharing beds – I wish you all sunshine, health, happiness and unstolen covers. xoxoxo


  7. Oh I so know you don’t want to hear this but…well…you already know what I’m going to say.

    I never bought “forever” furniture like some of my friends did. I figured my house was for living and living with kids means bodily fluids and “art”.

    Hope you’re all on the mend soon. And boil or replace their toothbrushes. Bacteria lives on those bad boys for eternity!



    1. No forever furniture for us either, which is why our couch is only leather-ish! I expect it to last a few years until they stop pissing and puking on things. 😉 You’re so right about those toothbrushes. I just bought them new ones because I thought we were out of the woods. Silly me. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Love that picture!

    The bed ownership bit makes me laugh, too, sending me back to earlier this morning, when I awakened to see my 5yo had climbed onto Daddy and fallen asleep in the middle of the night. Cute for me, not so comfy for Daddy!


  9. Aw what a good mom! I love that picture. So sorry that the kids are sick. That is the worst. Especially the tummy thing. Double ugh.


  10. I am so sorry that I laughed.

    Oh, the ideas we have before the kids are born. White duvet covers and sleeping in peace. Ha hah ha.

    The best thing we ever bought was our leather couch. It is urine, vomit and spilled everything resistant. And it’s black. So you can’t see pens.

    My biggest mistake was not putting hardwood upstairs. I shudder at what has been on the carpet. Maybe some day when the kids move out I will be brave enough to change it. It just doesn’t seem worth it yet. Plus, there is some great sharpie art on it under my computer desk…..sigh

    I hope this is the end of your family illness. Spring usually helps resolve that. No one wants to be sick when it’s sunny!


    1. We have tile floors, thank God, but I can still smell vomit and I’m not sure where it’s coming from. Everything I put my nose to smells fine so I’m thinking it soaked into the satillo tile, which is pretty porous. I hope this is the end of the illnesses too. It’s 80 degrees and sunny here and I’m exhausted! 🙂


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