My Grandpa passed away last November but he still sends me these from time to time.
My Grandpa passed away last November but he still sends me these from time to time.

I’ve read some great posts lately which have given me insight into the process of healing. I’ll share the links at the bottom.

So often, we think of healing as something we’re doing for ourselves so that we can stand to live in our skin, tolerate difficult circumstances or move on from people, choices and events. We dig deep, confront demons and forgive. We change our perception, accept responsibility and honor what we feel. It’s the process of recovery.

I’ve written about his before so forgive me if I’m rehashing something you’ve already read but a few years ago, I took an online course through Brave Girls Club called Soul Restoration. The most significant part of the course for me was the process of kicking everyone out of my “soul house” and visualizing what it looked like with no one in it but me. I had to confront my most sacred space without  the people and things that I wrapped my identity around. Then, slowly, I had to decide who and what to let back in. Who belonged in my sacred space with me? What thoughts, behaviors and beliefs would I let back in?

I’m constantly redecorating my sacred space (I am a girl, after all) but it’s the bones of my inner home that I work on the most. What makes my soul house strong is God, companionship, service and self-care. These are my foundations and when I start to wonder if I spend too much time thinking about this kind of stuff, I remember what happens when our bones get weak.

I love the concept that as we heal ourselves, we heal our lineage. As we seek, our answers constantly change. What we thought meant one thing takes on new meaning as we go through life. I like to think that this open mindedness, if we can sustain it, somehow not only heals us but travels back in time (as we understand it in our limited way) and heals the past as well. Not just the past that we remember, but all pasts we’re connected to. We somehow have a role in healing our parents, their parents, their parents…and the legacy we thought we were left with changes. Therefore, the process of self growth is more than just self indulgent introspection, it’s a responsibility to the future and the past. We can heal our lineage. Amazing.

Maybe all this recovery work, which can feel overwhelming, is really a responsibility to everyone we’re connected to, past and present. And maybe it begins at birth. The moment we’re placed in our parents’ arms, we leave a mark on their hearts and change them forever. Even before our births, really, because many of us have experienced the loss of children we were never able to meet and we know how our hearts are marked by their too-short existence. And if our very existence can change the here and now, who’s to say it can’t change the past?

Please check out Laurie’s post Legacy and Katia’s post Tikkun – How My Children Repaired Me.

24 thoughts on “Healing

  1. Such a beautiful and inspiring piece. I see healing the same way, as having the potential to heal the past, present and future, for ourselves and for everyone we’ve touched.


  2. Such beautiful writing, Karen. I especially love this, “it’s the bones of my inner home that I work on the most.” The idea of the “soul house” as well. Thank you for this.


  3. Oh my God, I loved this so much, Karen! The Soul House exercise inspired me. I’m going to attempt it, since I feel like I’ve lost sight of what I’m looking for. This post couldn’t have come at a better time. It’s beautiful and profound and the closing paragraph is so insightful. I strongly believe that healing IS our responsibility to others. I will carry this sentence in my heart.


  4. Since I’m doing all this introspective, soul searching therapist crap right now (I’m only kidding about the “crap” part) this post could not have been more timely and needed. I’m going to look up that course and maybe sign up. I’m reading “The Gift of Imperfection” now and will get on the mailing list as well.

    You, my friend, are my angel today. Thank you.



  5. Dear Karen,
    Your post is so timely and relevant beyond what I can express here. Never, EVER had I thought that we had the power to heal our lineage. Not because I didn’t think we had the power, just because it had never crossed my mind. I’ve only ever worried about self-healing (for reasons I’m still uncovering) and healing any harm I’ve already caused to my kiddos! You’ve opened up some new doors for me Karen, in so many ways and I love you for it 🙂

    PS: I’m all signed up for the Soul House…it’s a great time of year for Fall cleaning, don’t you think?


    1. Yay! I hope you have fun with it. I got on Brene Brown’s email list to find out when the next Gifts of Imperfection online course is offered.

      When this idea of healing our lineage was first presented to me, it just rang true. I feel most connected when I open my mind to the mysteries of the world instead of holding onto what can physically be proven.

      Tons of love to you, my sweet friend!


  6. I’ve been thinking about healing today – so this was such a relevant post – not surprising – I think we must be connected in the most basic and fundamental way.

    I’ve been thinking about the healing of my body – coming to terms with a life-long issue that has now changed in a most drastic way. Always on the inside, knowing that things would come to this stage but not really thinking about what it actually means in terms of health and well being. It is humbling when our bodies start to change and we have to really think about slowing up our movements so that that we can sustain a physical lifestyle for a longer period of time… instead of just mowing one’s way thru the world – it’s time to work slowly because, while my condition is not going to get better – I can mindfully work at keeping the worst of it at bay for a while longer. My first time back at my Bikram class in weeks and all morning I was scared/nervous/hesitant – then I went slowly and it was so wonderful – my mental state feels so calm and detoxed and my physical self feels so loose. Healing goes on every day of our lives – but only, like you said, if we really open ourselves to it and realize what kind of toxins are lurking in our subconscious.
    Namaste ~

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are so wise. I like your comment better than my post. I’ve spent a lot of my life thinking that other people/groups/programs knew what was good for me and while I’m open to good advice, I’m just now discovering how to really listen to my heart and body. I think the answers are inside us if we are open to them. Thank you for your amazing insight. xxoo


  7. I think you are at a place with your faith, that I hope to someday be. I’m getting there.

    I love the idea of the “soul house”, removing everything and everyone and then choosing how you fill it back up. It’s a re-birth almost – something that I think everyone in recovery, whether it be from drugs, alcohol, trauma, mental illness, etc, craves. I love that. It gives clarity and empowers choice. Good stuff.
    Great piece, Karen. ~Dawn


    1. Thank you Dawn! I’m a very visual person so it was really helpful for me to picture my sacred space as a home. I didn’t like what I saw the first time I visualized it with only me inside but like you said, it’s like an opportunity for re-birth.


  8. LOVE this…

    my friend Jo says often “we are the ancestors”…and we are.
    Yes, we can change long held family patterns, heal our lineage.
    AND…we now become the new lineage, the people that years and years ahead others will talk about, what we did, who we are.
    This changed my perspective so much, I am now the ancestor and my life needs to be one that shows my lineage..well, exactly what I have no control over but something good and true and something to be proud of and aspire to….
    thanks for this, another reminder

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s so strange to think that we are the ancestors and that others will talk about us the way we talk about ours. It’s also amazing to think that my children and their children will heal me long after I’m gone from this bodily form. I’ve thought about it from the perspective of me healing my lineage but I’ve never thought of it from my kids’ point of view. Mind. Blown. 🙂 Thanks Michele!


  9. This is so good. I just read a similar message this morning written by Jeff Brown. I shared this on my facebook page and thank you for posting it. Wonderful message.


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